My Staves in exchange of Apples!
by KnucklesGirl
Summary: Mystogan ran out of apples and he knows can't get them in the usual ways. So he goes to the Guild. And Lucy and company get involved somehow. What will happen? A crazy day that the cloaked man wish to forget! NEW CHAPTER! SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!
1. Chapter 1

**Heya! First 2011 fic, was been a while! I started my staying here with "Ask the Fairies" fic, that currently is on hold (but noooooooot for too much longer!) so I decided to make another one, this as two-chapters fic, envolving our Jellal's photocopy: version with spikier hair from Edolas, lol **

**Is almooooost like a torture story for the poor princy, but I will try to make him as loyal to the series as possible...just to test his patience that's far greater than any Fairy Tail's member, no counting Mirajane (eta girl).**

**Ah, ya noticed, english is not my mother language, so it is screwed sometimes! Sure, you can facepalm if you find some gross grammar mistake around here, XD**

**One last note before teh story: This is around...hm...after Nirvana's arc but before Edolas's. Yeah, before our Misty to be kicked out of the show. Yet it contain spoilers! Anime only-viewers, ya are been warned! O_O**

**This story focus Mystogan, but folks like Lucy and Natsu will get somehow involved =D**

* * *

_**My staves by an apple!**_

* * *

It was a very cold morning in the woods close to Magnolia city. Birdies were singing and worms were getting eaten by them. Everything was in peace in the natural, even for a small tree house around there. (arceus knows where the heck he sleeps. In Fairy Hills's male version surely not)

A blue haired man around his twenties with a strange (yet very suitable) tattoo in the right side of his face, rase his well built naked chest from the bed, visibly still sleepy. Oh god, making sleep others people is a piece of a cake, but himself...not really. Wearing like, who knows, about five layers of clothing and carrying five staves in the back is not exactly very appropriate for required eight hours of sleep.

The young man, named Jellal in birth but calling himself Mystogan during this staying in this place, got up lazily and walked into the bathroom for a shower. Soon after feeling refreshed, he picked his usual set of clothing (again, five layers of clothing) and went to kitchen to get some breakfast.

Mystogan's taste regarding breakfast is pretty simple: milk and fruit. However this morning he witnessed something kinda disturbing for him.

No apples. *insert drama soundtrack*

Mystogan grumbled.

Great, he had to forget something that important in his latest list of food gathering. For some reason he loves apples, not resisting to bite one (with incredible ability to do that with his mask ON) at least once by day.

And now he is totally broke. Thanks Laxus for ruining his last attempt to get a job, when exactly JUST by coincidence, the blonde was attempting to kick his grandpa's butt to be guildmaster earlier. The mystery fella had to stop him. But not before to Erza and Natsu to interrupt the showdown. And just to get worse, Erza saw his pretty face. And she spooked him away. Okay, not like he got scared to quit the catfight, but got gloomy for many days.

Gloomy enough to forget to get apples. Whoa, he was really out of himself...

Decided to not change his breakfast basis just for today, Mystogan put his mask and bandana on and left his house with his stomach empty.

He has no money now. Where to get apples in this season? Is plene autumn and half of the forest obviously don't give fruits in this time.

Obviously the idea of "snatching" in the market of Magnolia didn't even touch his mind. That's low, he could thought. Besides, minimize his existence in that city is all that he wants. Better say, what he needs most.

Then he remembered something: Porlyusica.

Yeah, her apples are delicious! Why not? She use to have plenty. Even few time ago he managed to get some from her and did it completely unharmed. Mystogan was almost decided to go to her place when remembered another thing:

* * *

**_Flashback

* * *

_**

_Porlyusica (cleaning the entrance of her house): These dimmit humans, always coming here for medical attention like I'm some miracle maker. What's next? DRUGS? CURSE'EM THEM ALL THESE HUMA...Mystogan, I know you are there. Take your fan out of my apples if you don't mind._

_Mystogan (very slowly distancing his favorite staff from the box of apples): Greetings, Porlyusica-san. I would like some apples. (now slowly approaching his staff back to the box) _

_Porlyusica: AND LEAVING THE CORES IN THE GROUND LIKE LAST TIME? YOU ALREADY ABUSED OF MY SYMPATHY FOR EATING MY APPLES AND NOT EVEN PAYING BACK! GET LOST AND GET SOME IN YOUR OWN IN THE SAME FLEA MARKET WHERE YOU GOT YOUR PANSY PANTALOONS!_

_Mystogan: _¬¬_...(visibly hurt by the commentary about his fashion tastes)_

_Porlyusica: But I knew that you aren't going to listen me anyway. So I made sure to left there the apples with worms inside._

_Mystogan: OOU... (just by coincidence he made a small bite in one apple right before that and made the favor to split it out...with his mask on, of course)_

_Porlyusica: Ok, how disgusting._

_Mystogan (turning away and in just in one second, took his mask off, put another one and turned back to the old hag): Porlyusica-san, I really do like your apples. If you allow me, please led me so..._

_BUUUUUUMMMMMM! (something noisy and too fast to the eye catch just through the tree in his left side, missing him for very mere centimeters.)_

_Mystogan: O_OU...(basically froze there)_

_Porlyusica (with a mini Jupiter canon that she pulled from nowhere): MAKE YOUR WAY OUT OF HERE! Unless you wanna wet your pantaloons in the second shot!_

_Mystogan: ¬¬..."I would, if I didn't relieve myself a bit ago in the little garden near he.."...O_OU..."oops."_

_And in that same instant, he turned into mist as always do to make a "fast escape"._

_Porlyusica:...he left too easily.

* * *

_

**_End of the flashback

* * *

_**

Nope. Going to Porlyusica's place is completely out of the question now. Specially when in that day he heard a very loud roar sounding something like his name not very far from his place.

Mystogan sighed. There's only one option left: to go to Fairy Tail Guild.

**And here ends the first chapter! Sorry for being a bit short, it was just to test. But anyway, you guys can make me suggestions like, what characters you would like to see in this story and so ;) Review please! There's are a motivation to keep writing! =D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter! Now let's tort...I mean, follow Mystogan advancing in his ultimate quest in the extremely inevitable path of dangerous sights: the first prize is fresh apple! Go Misty, go! **

**Lol! Just a joke to start this. As I said, even in this a supposed funny fic, I'm trying to make Mystogan here as loyal as his self in the series...even is not big help cuz we don't know very much about him...blast his tendency to work offscreen...**

**Well, today is a new chap and I decided to extend the story a bit more, so it will get a third chapter! Let's see what will happen today!**

_**Chapter two: This is not happening...**_

_**

* * *

**_

Magnolia city. 9 at morning.

* * *

An enigmatic man, cloaked from the head until the feet, holding a fan shaped staff in his hand and more four others oddly shaped ones in his back, walked calm and mysteriously like he always do. *insert spooky soundtrack*

Once he arrived to the main street of the city...

Mystogan: …."curses"...

*spooky soundtrack died immediately*

If the S-Class mage wasn't so serious, he would face-palm in that same instant. But all he did is rolling his eyes, completely unprepared for the vision in his path.

Today was friday. Market day. Fruit market day.

Ouch.

Seller #1: ORANGES, ORANGES! VERY FRESH ORANGES! GET YOURS WHILE THEY ARE WET!

Seller #2: CARROTS, CARROTS! THEY HAVE NO REAL LOVE AND AREN'T EVEN FRUITS BUT YOU HAVE TO EAT THEM ANYWAY!

Seller #3: BANANA, BANANA, TODAY IN LIQUIDATION! WE ACCEPT ANYTHING IN TRADE! POTATOES, LAUNDRY, YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW!

Until here, no danger at all. However...

Seller #4: APPLES! APPLES FROM EAST FOREST THE LAST ONES FROM THIS SEASONS LEAVING THE MONKEYS AND APPLES ADDICTS STARVING (Mystogan: "Excuse me?") AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE BEST OF THIS? NO FREE STAMPLES! APPLES! APPLES!

* * *

After this happened a kinda unexpected thing: Mystogan lost his pacience.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Fairy Tail Guild...

Lucy: Awwww...is so boring around here...*sighs*...let's get some job..." cuz of my rent"...TT_TT

Natsu (quiet until now): YEAH! I'M ALL FIRED UP! (he is always babbling that X_X)

Gray: You are always babbling that (word.)

Natsu: Shudda'p pansy pervert! You're picking a fight in my face here and right now?

Gray: Everytime, beaky eyes, show off!

Cana: Say that yourself, show off.

Gray: AH CRAP! (his pants went to somewhere else once again)

Erza: Cut it out! Did you heard Lucy? Time to get some job! "After my strawberry cake" So get your lazy buns outta of there and go to the...theeeeee joooob boar...*yawn*...zZzZZz...

THUMB.

Lucy: Eeek! Erza!...brbrbrbrbrbrbr...whoaaaaaaaaaa...ZzZzzZzZzzZZz...

THUMB.

Natsu: ….*yawn*...ewwwww...you stiiiiiiiink...

Gray:...no, you stink...ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...

THUMB THUMB.

And more ones "thumb thumb" until the whole guild fall asleep.

In a matter of seconds, the masked mage made his way inside the guild but this time something was different about him: he was definitely walking in a faster pace than normal and with a slight annoyed look from his eyes.

?: Greetings Mystogan, long time no see!

Mystogan: …."What the...?"

?: Why the long face, pal? Still with shyness issues? As Laxus told me, you aren't that ugly, ahahahahahahahaha!

Mystogan: …."You surely got timing, Gildarts" ¬¬

Yep, Gildarts. He was back and seems like wasn't feeling like napping in the ground. We all know that old man got some power behind his cape. Putting anesthesia treatment on him is not a piece of cake. And putting all these sellers into the dreamland before wasn't definitely Mystogan's best idea.

Gildarts: Master went to another scolding in the council, but ya can treat with some beer if you want...eh? Where ya going?

Mystogan just turned right, evading the sleeping "nakama" in the ground like is not his fault (lol) and walked into the storage (that's why he come to the guild!). Inside there, got what he feared most: no apples again! (ahaha!)

Mystogan (almost, almost with a dark aura around him): "This must be some joke!" ¬¬XXX

And turned around, back to the main hall, but for his disgrace, master Makarov was there, talking with Gildarts.

Makarov: Yo Mystogan, are you back? I didn't even notice, hehehe! So that's why everyone is sleeping like this! Actually I thought that was due of exhaustion from the food fight a while ago.

The poor prince felt like stabbed in the chest.

That's not his lucky day.

Makarov: What's the matter? ^^ Happy got your tong...

*growl*

Gildarts: OOU Hum? What was that sound?

*growl*

Mystogan: ¬¬U

Makarov: Mystogan, come here, let us treat you something.

Mystogan: I'm fine.

*growl*

Makarov: Your stomach doesn't think that so, ahahahahahaha!

Gildarts: (snort)

Mystogan (glad for wearing a mask): "The humilhation..."(and turned around, now going to the job board)

Makarov: Ah, well, since we are all here now...(made a naughty smile, clapping his hands)

Mystogan: OOU..."oh no, you don't..."

But he did. And in a matter of seconds, every guild member who were sleeping in the ground or in the table like were in a comfy bed, woke one by one instantly, exactly while the recluse prince was in the middle of main hall, surrounded by everyone. Ouch!

**End of the second chapter!**

**Lol it ended in the best part, XD!**

**Will Mystogan get his beloved apples? Next chapter will be the last and definitely will answer that! **

**See you there and please send me reviews! Gimme motivation to upload quickly!**

_meowzzzz: Thanks a lot! I uploaded it quickly =D_

_sissycus: His stomach complained now and is gonna be a bother even more next chapter, hehehe_

_TeenTaye: Just because of that he is gonna have a bad day, XD_


	3. Special Chapter

**Yo! Third chapter!...err...actually not yet. Since is gonna be the last one, will be way much longer than the previous ones. Thinking in jokes + inspiration + writing = not so soon X_X Sorry for that, I will try to make it ready to conclude the story before the end of this month. And writing is not my thing, I'm an illustrator actually, XD Just happens that I like to make hell life to characters that I love, that happens to be all a bunch of minor allies or villains fated to kick the bucket (do what? Heroes are boring!) and Misty is not exactly a wannabe show-off. Meh, I'm odd, I know. **

**Anyway, this is a special intromission, a sole, hum, talk show with Mystogan, just to pick his face a bit more before the LOOOOONG wait for the final chapter which will make him shake it off from his memory (that seems better that Jellal's, ahaha)**

* * *

**Special Chapter: Interview**

* * *

_Welcome folks, today we interrupt this fic for humilh...I mean...advertise the reputation of the most reclusive and quiet Fairy Tail guild member, which is a spooky thing cuz the others nakama don't go home until make some godzilla mess in some city and he seems that makes a clean job, in order to save his greeny..._

Audience: OoO...whoa...

_...obviously for, ya know, travelling the whole globe to close some aired animes around, probably his debuting episodes._

Mystogan: Anima, you mean. (appearing from nowhere, walking to the stage, sadly with his mask and bandana on)

_Oh yeah, of course, what a mistake of mine, lol. The name was kinda polemic and...lemme manage the lie...err, oh blame Mashima for it._

Mystogan: …... (sitting in one of the sofas around the stage)

_Ya know, in a talk show like this silence is not an answer, but we can always fill it with fitting music. =D_

_

* * *

_

_**Lonely...I'm Mister Lonely...I have nobody...for my oooooown, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...**_

_**

* * *

**_

*BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM* (the princy had the sympathy to blast the radio that was playing the fitting song with his favorite staff)

¬¬_ That was overkill, Jellal._

Mystogan: Ò_Ó (viper glare that REALLY resembled before-amnesia Jellal )

_O_OU You kinda diss your birth name, don't you?_

Mystogan: That name is blackmail.

_Not as much as your tattoo, mister._

Mystogan: What tattoo?

Audience: ¬¬U

_We are going to act like we didn't hear that. _

Mystogan: As if.

_Instal hiding your face from the world, thing that shouldn't be, like a sin, cuz you are a good piece of meat, you could go to the council or make a public announcement like "I'M NOT JELLAL, I'M JUST A PHOTOCOPY (clone would work too) FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION THAT HAPPENS TO HAVE THE SAME FACE! HE HAS PSYCHO ISSUES AND I LIKE APPLES!"_

Audience: Pfff...

Mystogan: That was an indirect line, RIGHT?

_As if._

Mystogan: (grumble)

_Well, we know that your Earthland counterpart didn't get an exactly flashy curriculum and his current residence much less..._

Audience: FREEDOM FOR JELLAL! FREEDOM FOR JELLAL! FREEDOM FOR JELLAL!

Mystogan: What that audience is about anyway?

_Jellal x Erza fans in special._

Mystogan: ¬¬...

_C'mon Edo Jellal, is not that bad! You have the same pretty face, same utterly odd tattoo, same social issues..._

Mystogan: ….*murder intent gauge: 95% filled* (ui, almost there champ!)

_...but there's a lot of differences between you guys! For example, your hair is spikier than his. You refer yourself in the japanese version as "watashi" (a very formal "I'm") while Jellal refer as "ore" (common and informal "I'm" for males). You are shy, he talks his tongue out, you are self-sacrificed, he is sadist, you are Code Geass fan _(Mystogan: WHAT?),_ he likes 1-player chess, you love apples, he love Zeref..._

Mystogan: That thing of Code Geass part is not true! Where you got that?

Audience: …..*cri cri cri cri cri cri cri*

_Ca-ham...(trying to imitate Mystogan's voice)"Lily, kill me and everyone will be happy! Genius, doesn't it?"...(that sounded like a dying old man, lol) that cried very Code Geass for me, son._

Mystogan: First, that was a coincidence. Second, I don't sound like that! I have a code of honor.

"_Anesthesia and pick the job"?_

Mystogan: ¬¬ Not that one.

_Well, highness, is all for now. Thanks for coming!...you can turn into mist now like you did when Erza spooked you._

Mystogan: ¬¬XXX Five layers magical circle..(some odd circles appeared above the stage)

_Holy crap._

Mystogan: OoO SACRED SONG!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

**And here concludes our short interview that could ended without a list of massive field damage. Thanks for reading and see you in the next and last chapter ;)**


	4. Chapter 3

**Heya! Seems like this fic finally got it loooooooooooong (I didn't expect to be so waited for it) expected chapter after so many months! Sorry for that, ya know, life is hard, I'm not really the kind that likes to write cuz I rather draw instal, but since we all share our love for Fairy Tail or better for Misty (let's bother him for a biiit more hehe) I will finish what started.**

**I plan to make at least more 2 chapters before to end this story to make it easier for me instal writing a long testament as final round.**

**What exactly made me to decide to continue this fic was not only for the reviews but also for the fact that Mystogan is kicked out both anime and manga. Howeeeeever, seems like we actually will see from him soon! Can't wait to check his king clothing. (will he wear that fancy dress like his dad? Aahahahahahahahaha!)**

**Now!**

**Will our renegade princy get his apples today? Of course nope, lol. Not definitely today, teh-teh!**

* * *

_Chapter 3: Unconfortable company_

* * *

Mystogan knew that was a bad idea to get out of his confy bed today: first he ran out of apples, went to Magnolia to check in the guild not before to face a fruit merkat day, a jackpot just to raise his poor hunger and right after that, his guild was ALSO ran out of apples due to a food fight (we don't need to try to guess the responsables) and NOW the master made the favor to wake the whole guild while he was standing right in the middle of them! It could get worse?

Natsu: *YAWN* awww, great nap, nuthin' like being lazy before fire up, awwww...WHAT THE? GRAY, GET YOUR FRIGGIN PAWS FROM MY NOSE! (Gray: ZzZzZzZzZz) MOVE! (kicked him in the face to move from the table.)

Yeah they were sleeping on the table.

Gray: No...(grabed Natsu's scarf still in dreamland, taking it of him so suddenly that the pinky haired dragon boy landed in the floor)

The whole guild (except Mystogan of course, which apparently no one noticed him there yet): AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (pointing to Natsu, laughing like manics)

Natsu: YOU WALKING AIR CONDITIONAIR, GIMME MY SCARF, GEEZ! (trying to pull his scarf since Gray decided to use it as blanket)

Gray: ZzZzZ...gnn...(turned his back to Natsu and involuntarly moved his legs, hitting right in the dragon balls (XD!))

Male guild members: Ouch!

Natsu (instantly recovered): ARRRGH THAT'S IT!

* * *

5 seconds and a Fire Dragon Roar later...

* * *

Gray: GODDAMN NATSU, WHAT THE HELL YOU WERE THINKING FOR BARBECUE MY BUTT LIKE THAT?

Natsu: YOU ASKED FOR IT!

Guild members: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mystogan took this chance to buzz off in his most practical way: mist escape.

But Makarov saw this coming:

Makarov: Not so fast my son, hihi! (pulling a vaccum from nowhere, but for his surprise, Mystogan materialized so fast as when tried to left) aaaaawwwwww, you are no fun!

Mystogan's stomach: *Growl* (evident culprit for the failed fast escape, ahaha)

Lucy: Huh? What was that?

Then, ONLY NOW the whole guild realized who was among them.

Gildarts: Hehehe, how akward, right Mystogan?

Almost the whole guild (Wendy and Charle obviously didn't know what's going on): MYSTOGAN?...(give them few seconds to remember Mystogan's fancy way to say hello to them) YOU PUNK!

Mystogan: …... (sweating rivers if wasn't wearing five layers of clothing)

Natsu and Erza: *viper glare to the poor prince* (the situation from VS Lacus before wasn't easily a forgettable one)

Makarov: Hey, hey, everyone, calm down, Mystogan didn't made anything wrong...

Almost the whole guild: HE PUT US ON DREAMLAND MORE THAN ONCE!

Makarov: …but that.

Gildarts: Pfff...(trying his very best to not laugh)

Makarov: Aw don't kill him, he is a good buddy, look at him!

Almost the whole guild: WORST EXCUSE EVER!

Gildarts: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Elfman: HEY, HE IS ESCAPING!

Mystogan: -_-U (he managed to slip from everyone and now was just one step from the main door)

Makarov: Mystogan you were looking for a job now, right?

Mystogan: (turned to him, nodding, almost visible tired and sick of the hunger)

Makarov: (smiling openly) So I know the perfect one for you! (pulls from nowhere a job poster which was written:

"MISSING PET COUGAR, MALE ADULT, WEARS A COLLAR WITH A BELL. EXTREMELY DANGEROUS DUE POSSIBLE LONG-TERM HUNGER! (Mystogan: "I know how it feels. -_-U" REWARD: TOO BIG TO PUT IN THIS POSTER, SUE ME! LOCALIZATION: APPLE FIELD"

I need to say that the last two words sounded like music to Mystogan's ears? :P

Mystogan: Interesting...may I take that request, master?

Makarov: I was right away handing it to Erza! Natsu's team is up to let you join them! =D

Natsu's team: EEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

*CRACK!* (the whole guild turned stone in anime style)

The illusionary mage felt like stabbed. And sooo, slowly turned around and walked toward the exit but!

Makarov: Wait a sec, son.

Mystogan: "Goddamn luck"

Makarov: I think this a good chance to give some interaction to your teammates since you completely lack that. So I want you to go with th...(Mystogan resumed his walking)...okaaaaaaay, you know Mystogan, I could swear that spotted someoooone around Polyrusica's merkat stock back then (Mystogan stopped walking), fetching some apples, but she didn't noticed that very much because that someone kindly put some red painted peaches in their place (Mystogan: *sweatdrop*) gosh, I wonder how she will react if I accidently spill the beans...(smirking naughtly)

Mystogan: "Blackmail, hein? I'm not falling for that. No way I am!"

* * *

Five minutes later...

* * *

Makarov: Bye! Have a safe trip!

Happy: Ayeee, we will definitely catch that fish!

Lucy: Coughar, Happy. -_-U

Happy: I WAS BEEN FOOLED!

Charle: You fooled all by yourself.

Mystogan: "Fuck my life".

That's right, Mystogan. :P

**And this is the end of more one chapter! Sorry for being so messed and anti-climatic, but is just the beginning of the real mess! Mystogan is forced to tag along with Natsu team but I can tell that is not for much time! Join Misty's quest for his apples!**

**Next chapter will not take much long, I promise ;)**

_Sissycus: Sorry for taking so long :p_

_mika 2000: Thanks a lot, I tried to make this chapter funny as well, despite that the best part is yet to happen!_

_Ruvina no Ookami Hime: Well, he had the guts to eating apples and asking for more in that pinky old hag, so is pretty hinted that he love them, XD_

_inoyamakiori: Aahahaha, Mystogan he/she pnowed you! Sorry for the late upload._

_Beta5200: Fresh chapter, hope ya enjoyed!  
_


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